A Muse with a View

This blog was originally published on MySpace on May 21, 2009

I went for my bi-annual checkup with my dermatologist today, and when I left she handed me a piece of paper with the information on it about my most recent malignant melanoma and said, “You had a malignant melanoma in 2004. Just want to remind you of all the things you need to continue to do.”

Was she really saying what I thought she was saying? I quickly did the math in my head.

I have been cancer-free for five years.

At first I had no reaction whatsoever. It was like someone
had just said, “Have a nice day.” Then I walked to my car, took a deep breath
and cried. I didn’t feel it coming. I cried all the way to work.

I had no idea how buried my fear was until someone gave me permission to let it go.

The truth is you never completely let go of that fear once you have had cancer, because you know it’s always lurking. My cells already know how to mutate into deadly malignant melanoma. That much I know. So I have to respect that. They could choose to go rogue again at any moment.

We are mortal. Don’t forget that. Live and love while you can.\

Cheers!

My cancer story: I am a Cancer Suvivor

Originally published on MySpace on April 21, 2009

This is a list of some of the places I’ve been that evoke strong memories. Some places are more exotic that others!

Originally published on MySpace on March 27, 2009

Being unemployed alters your world. I was constantly chasing the next
contract job when I was a consultant, and there were many times over
the past two years when I didn’t know where my next job was going to
come from. This was all fine and good when the economy was booming,
because I knew there would always be someone who needed a contract
writer. However, life changed when the economy crashed and the world
did a total reset.

All of a sudden I was fighting 125 other people for a single job, and
everyone was underbidding me because they were hungrier than I was. My
hourly rate was cut in half in a matter of months, and I started to
wonder how I was going to live on half of what I was making before.

Survival Skills 101

Reduce your Expenses

Eating Out
Stop eating out. Period. When I was looking for expenses to cut, eating
out was the first to go. I literally cut my Visa bill in half when I
stopped eating out.

Coffee
Brew your own! Just think about how many cups of coffee you can get
from a 1-pound bag of beans. If you must have a latte from a coffee
shop, cut it down to once a week as a treat.

Utilities
Get your utility company to average your gas and/or electric bills.
That way you know exactly what you have to pay every month. I got a
$358 gas bill after the winter storm we had in December, and that’s
when I decided to average my bill.

Avoid the Mall
If you’re a person who can’t walk out of Nordstrom or Macy’s without
being tempted to buy something, don’t go to the mall! I spent so much
less money by just staying away from the temptation.

Use the Library
Did you know that you can get DVDs and CDs at the library? If you are
cutting expenses, cut the rental fees and the late fees completely by
using the library.

Cut the Cable
When I was cutting expenses I cut my TV cable down to the basic
channels, which was about $10 a month. The unexpected bonus was we
didn’t get the Disney Channel anymore. The overacting and laugh tracks
on those kid shows is enough to drive a mom to drink. However, my kids
quickly discovered that they could watch most of their favorite TV
shows on the Internet whenever they wanted to anyway, so Hannah Montana
didn’t disappear completely. Sigh.

Find Free (or cheap) Fun
I am one of those people who is really good at being frugal. My
expenses are really low, and I can live on almost nothing. However, I
will not deprive myself of fun. Even when I was being really frugal I
would take my kids to the movies once a month (always to the cheaper
matinee of course). We always brought our own snacks, and asked for
cups for water at the concession stand.

Geocaching is free and fun for kids. We did it without the aid of a GPS
and still found caches. Good for an entire day of adventure.

Have Happy Hour at Home
Remember when you were in college, or even just living out on your own
for the first time, and you used to know where all of the best happy
hours were? You knew which bars had cheap drinks and free food, right?
Well, my girlfriends and I have organized happy hours in our homes.
Wine, cheese, crackers. Cheap, easy and fun. There are also plenty of
free wine tastings around town if you want to get out.

Needs Vs. Wants
Do you really need another pair of shoes, or do you just want them? Don’t buy anything that’s not an absolute necessity.

Clothes
I have three children. They grow out of clothes constantly. There is no
way I’m going to spend $40 on a pair of jeans for an 8-year old who
will grow out of them in three months. I have plenty of friends with
kids, and I asked them for hand-me-downs. I would get the clothes from
my friends and then just hang them up in my kids’ closets as if I had
bought them new. They never knew the difference, and they got some
really cool clothes!

Emotional Stability
You don’t realize how much of your emotional stability is tied to money
until you don’t have it anymore. There are many things that money can’t
buy, but it certainly buys you stability. I remember being consumed by
fear on a daily basis when I was between jobs. Fear, panic,
helplessness, hopelessness, depression, anxiety, are all emotions that
come to mind.

Which leads me to…

Emotional Reset
I would allow myself the freedom to have a complete emotional meltdown
(when my kids weren’t around) a few times a month. It was cathartic for
me to just cry and shout out loud whatever came to mind. Once I
released all of my fear and anxiety I knew I could find the strength to
pick myself up and keep rowing forward. It was my way of doing an
emotional reset.

Pity Party
If you’re going to wallow in self pity you might as well go all out and
throw yourself a party. Allow yourself to have the occasional pity
party, but put a time limit on it. Say, “Okay, I’m going to pity myself
for the next 30 minutes, and then I’m going to pick myself back up and
be done with that.” I even made myself a pity party cake once, because
it made me laugh, and humor really helps in these hard times.

Phone a Friend
I can’t tell you how many times I called friends just to ask for some
emotional support. Sometimes I just needed someone to tell me it was
going to be okay.

This economy is going to suck for a while. Just wrap your head around
that and accept it. Once you accept that you can be the river instead
of the rock.

Originally published on MySpace on March 23, 2009

As most of you know I was a contract technical writer for the past two
years. However, what most of you don’t know is that I was doing it out
of necessity not by choice. Like a lot of you, I too was unemployed.

However, I recently found a great job in a dream company during the
worst economic times since the Great Depression. How did I do it? I
spent at least an hour every day for two years doing all of the things
I have listed below. These are my Cliff Notes for landing your dream
job, or at least a job that is a stepping stone to your dream job. This
is a really long blog, and I’m sure most of you won’t read it all. But
you at least have to scroll down and read the last section about first
impressions!

There is so much more to say, but I think I’ll just put it in a book and let you download it if you want it.

Find a Business Networking Group
A business networking group is a place where you can
go and meet people from all kinds of industries who may or may not be
able to connect you to someone who can help you get a job. I attended a
networking group called “The Breakfast Club” every other Tuesday
morning for a year, and made some fantastic connections.

Update Your Resume
Customize Your Resume Every Time
I know it sounds like overkill, but the only way you’re going to get a
job in this economy is if your skill set is an exact match to what the
hiring manager is looking for. If the job description says they’re
looking for a one-legged pirate who can knit, by God you’d better be a
one-legged pirate with lots of hand-knitted sweaters in your portfolio!

Have Someone Review Your Resume
Give your resume to someone in your industry and have them give you
constructive criticism. I probably have 10 different versions of my
resume thanks to all of the suggestions I got.

Know Which Industries are Hiring
I come from the land of high tech, but high tech isn’t doing so well
these days, so I had to broaden my search scope into other industries.
Let’s brainstorm here for a minute and come up with a few companies and
industries that are thriving in this economic downturn:

• NetFlix. People are staying home more, going out less. NetFlix is hiring.
• Certain media companies. The company I work for creates, supports and manages
  interactive TV applications that allow you to interact with applications on your TV.
  In the UK you can even buy stuff from QVC with your remote.
• Be willing to change industries.

Join an Industry Group
I am a member of OEN (Oregon Entrepreneurs Network) and SAO (Software
Association of Oregon). These groups hold business and social functions
where you can meet all kinds of people, and get introduced to companies
you’ve never heard of. Find an organization in your area and join!

Subscribe to the Online Business Journals
I subscribe to the headlines for three business journals: Portland,
Puget Sound and Silicon Valley. Every day I get little snippets in my
Inbox telling me which companies are laying people off, which new
companies just got more funding, etc. This is the way you track where
the jobs are.

Create a Profile on LinkedIn
Become a Master Networker on LinkedIn
I have been online since the word was coined. Seriously. If there is a
new business or social networking site in town I check it out. LinkedIn
is a business networking site that allows you to keep in touch with
current co-workers, ex co-workers, friends and recruiters.

• If you’re not on LinkedIn, sign up. It’s free.
• Create a profile that showcases your job experience.
• Start looking for people you know to connect to.

Ask for Recommendations
Ask anyone you’ve ever worked with to write a recommendation for
you on LinkedIn. These are public references that potential employers can view. The more recommendations you have on LinkedIn the better.

Update Your Status

• Change your status on LinkedIn at least once a week. Why? Because it keeps your
  name showing up at the top of everyone’s update list. It keeps you visible.
• Put industry keywords in your status, because that’s how recruiters will find you.
  I swear if my status said, “Kelly is slaying SQL Server dragons and writing complex queries,”
  my profile would get views from all kinds of people in the database industry, and I would get
  contacted by recruiters.
• Say you are interviewing for jobs even if you have no interviews lined up.

Which brings me to…

LinkedIn Keywords
I’m not exactly sure how the LinkedIn search engine works, or how the
paid part of the site works, but I will tell you that keywords are
everything. If you are looking for work in the IT industry you better
have buzzwords in your profile and in your status. Use hot words like
“whitelisting” and “positive IT tools.”

LinkedIn Jobs Page
Linked in has a jobs page, and there were probably 25-45 jobs listed
within 15 miles of my house at any given time. Not just job jobs, but
great jobs. Many of the jobs actually give you the recruiter’s name, so
you can apply directly. Many of the jobs say “recommendations
preferred,” which is why I say get as many people to write
recommendations for you as possible. It really pays off.

Other Places to Find Work
Create a Profile on Monster.com
Create a profile on Monster.com, and sign up for the job alerts. Update
your profile on a weekly basis, even if you only change one word,
because it pops you to the top of the stack when employers are
searching for people. You land in the “recently updated profiles”
bucket.

Which leads me to…

Hang out a Shingle
Start a business on your own. My fallback skill has always been
writing, so I hung out my shingle and started my own contract writing
business. How did I get that first job? A friend on MySpace. Gary
(Garibaldi) hired me to help him with an RFP. How did I get the second
job? LinkedIn jobs board. I interviewed for a sales engineer position,
and I didn’t get the job, but they did hire me as a contract writer for
almost a year, which was much more lucrative.

Craigslist.com
Yes, craigslist! Not only are there many jobs posted there, it’s also a great place to post your resume.

I posted a mini resume on craigslist and got three
contract jobs in less than a week. There are hundreds of people
looking for jobs on craigslist so the key is to differentiate yourself.
My headline was this:

>>> Not Your Typical Tech Writer <<<

The first line of my posting was something like, “Highly technical
perfectionist with a Journalism degree, social skills and a sense of
humor.” Then I had 10 bullet points that listed what my skills were.
You have to differentiate yourself or you will get lost in the rubble.

Register on Company Websites
Go directly to the companies you want to work for and use their online
registration to post your resume. And sign up for their job alerts!

Get to Know Some Recruiters
Some companies still have inside recruiters, but more often than not
companies will hire outside recruiters to fill positions. I had
recruiters coming out of the woodwork when I posted on craigslist, and
I called every one of them, and then chose ONE to work with. Not all
recruiters are created equal. Choose one who will go to bat for you.

Get Someone to Hand-Walk Your Resume
Many jobs on company websites are in the final stages of interviewing
before you even see them posted. The only way you’re going to get an
interview is to have an inside source who can tell you what jobs are
going to be posted BEFORE they get posted. Have your insider walk your
resume to the inside recruiter or the hiring manager’s desk.

First Impressions Are Everything
When I had been doing all of the above for two years and I still hadn’t
been able to land a full-time job I had to ask myself why. Why did I
always get down to the top two candidates and come in second? I finally
decided to try something that even I didn’t believe would work: I
changed the color of my hair. Why? Because most people, whether they
will admit it or not, have preconceived notions about blondes. They are
perceived to be flaky, fun and dumb.

BEFORE AFTER

I found myself having to work harder in interviews to
overcome this misconception, so I said f*ck it, I’m coloring my hair!
And guess what? I interviewed for a job at my current company once as a
blonde and once as a brunette, and guess who got the job? The brunette.

I know plenty of guys in their 50′s who colored their hair when they
were interviewing so they would be perceived as being younger.

The moral of the story is this: keep rowing even if it feels like you’re getting nowhere, think outside the box, and be willing to color your hair.

And never ever give up!

Originally published on MySpace on February 27, 2009.
My friend Jack recently posted a line from the Mary Tyler Moore Show theme song as his Facebook status:

I couldn’t get the song out of my head this morning as I got ready for work. I then realized that my life had become the theme song!

So, today as I walk across the big crosswalk to my office in the tallest building in Portland, perhaps I’ll toss a beret into the air and remember that Mary and I have a lot in common. We’re going to make it after all.

The song is called “Love is All Around,” by Paul Williams.

Who can turn the world on with her smile?
Who can take a nothing day, and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?
Well it’s you girl, and you should know it
With each glance and every little movement you show it.

Love is all around, no need to waste it.
You can have a town, why don’t you take it.
You’re gonna make it after all.
You’re gonna make it after all.

How will you make it on your own?
This world is awfully big, girl this time you’re all alone.
But it’s time you started living.
It’s time you let someone else do some giving.

Love is all around, no need to waste it.
You can have a town, why don’t you take it.
You’re gonna make it after all.
You’re gonna make it after all.

Originally published on MySpace on February 4, 2009.

When I think of the past three years of my life, I often think of the saying “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade,” because, frankly, life has given me more than my fair share of lemons, but I have learned how to make lemon drops!

Those of you who know me well in real life have heard me say that I have felt like I was rowing a tanker with a toothpick for the past few years. I knew I had to keep rowing even though I felt like the tanker was going nowhere. If I stopped rowing I would sink. So row I did.

Slowly I started noticing progress, but I had so many miles to go. The journey was costly, frustrating, tiring, and full of some of the most difficult challenges I have ever faced in my life. As Mike often said, “Kelly, your life is like an Elmore Leonard novel.” And it was.

I stopped journaling at home, and I didn’t blog about my challenges. Why? Because I didn’t want to give the negativity any more power than it already had. I felt that spending time writing things down would keep me from the task at hand: rowing that tanker with a toothpick.

But I want to tell you something. You have to keep rowing, and you have to believe you are moving forward even when it doesn’t feel like you’re making any progress.

I am so close to the end of this journey. I can see the port in the distance. Somehow I survived some life experiences that would have crushed most people. My friends often tell me they can’t believe how strong I am, how I persevere, and how I somehow remain optimistic.

I am an over achiever and very competitive with myself. No? Really? Failure is not an option when so much life is at stake.

Somehow I feel like a superhero who has spent the last three years in some alternate universe slaying dragons, demons, and all of her arch nemeses. I’ve been battered and battle weary, but I came out a stronger, more confident person.

The obstacles, the economy, and my recent breakup forced me to change my perspective on almost everything in my life. You appreciate life so much more when you’ve been down to the very bottom and had to fight your way back up to the light. You really do.

So, what’s next? I’m going to continue writing technical documentation for a living until I get my dream company off the ground. Huh? What dream company? I can’t tell you yet, but when I do tell you you’ll say, “Yes! That’s exactly what you should have been doing all along!”

P.S. You have to read “Why Men Love Bitches.” Made me laugh out loud when I wanted to cry. I just ordered Sherry Argov’s second book, “Why Men Marry Bitches,” which I hear is equally entertaining.

P.P.S. Ms. Argov defines a bitch as a woman who is strong, confident, and can hold her own in a relationship. Not the ‘bitch” you’re thinking about.

Originally published on MySpace on January 29, 2009.

I know, I know, I have been such a MySpace slacker!

You guys all know that I don’t blog about my personal life that much, so you only see a small slice of my life through this blog. There are many reasons I haven’t been blogging lately, and these are just a few:

* I was fed up with MySpace and the broken blog indexing. I can’t find anything!

* I have had a few gnarly technical writing jobs where I’m writing for eight or nine hours a day, and the last thing I want to do when I get home is get on the computer and write a blog.

* Then I was unemployed and couldn’t get unemployment because I’m self employed. Yeah, good one.

* I was dealing with a court battle (thank goodness that’s over with).

* I was dealing with some medical issues (all good now).

* I was going through a long, painful break up with someone I love very much. We still love each other, but relationships are all about timing, and the timing for us was just plain awful.

* I’m in the middle of a real estate deal that has taken almost a year to complete, and it’s almost done!

I was in a very dark place for a while when all of this was happening, but I am a survivor. I am an eternal optimist, and karma will smile on me.

No one likes to read depressing blogs, so I just decided to take some space and deal with myself in private for a while.

So, if I still have any readers left, please say hi!

I want to thank all of you who donated to my Relay for Life cause this year and last. If you don’t know my story you can read it here:

I am a Survivor

I’m a little more than halfway to my goal of $1000. I raised $5000 last year. If you donate $10 or more I’ll write a blog for you, topic of your choice.

Blogging for Dollars

The theme this year was: There’s No Place Like Hope.

A young girl who belted out “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.

A field of dreams.

The track lined with “Luminaria” bags that had candles burning in them all night long. The wind was high so we had a few that actually blew over and burned up.

The good news: children who kicked cancer’s ass. The bad news: there were an equal number of bags for children who didn’t.

My favorite booth. They were dressed like pirates. I bought a button that says “cancer sucks.”

I am a survivor!

8:00am: Campsite set-up begins, teams will be assigned specific times to come.

9:30am: Survivor tent opens

9:45am: Campsites are complete

10:00am: Opening ceremonies

10:00am: Luminaria tent opens

10:15am: Survivor lap/caregiver lap

10:15am: Campsite judging

11:00am: Silent auction begins- Credit cards are accepted

12:00pm: Live auction begins

1:30-3:00pm Silent auction tables close

5:00pm: Lions Club BBQ Dinner for $5.00 (Cash Only)

9:45pm: Luminaria Ceremony Begins

11:00-12:00pm: Late night pizza and ice cream

Saturday, July 13th

7:00am: Bodyyoga Class

8:00am: Boot Camp with Shannon

9:30am: Closing Ceremony and Tribute Balloon Release

10:00am: Clean-up and Pack-up

So, my friend Debbie calls me up and says, “Your picture is in the Lake Oswego Review .” Anyone who has ever seen the Lake Oswego Review knows this can be a very bad thing. There’s a little section we refer to as the “Police Blotter.” Don’t ever get caught doing anything in Lake Oswego, because you WILL be publicly humiliated in that section of the paper.

I actually wondered what I had done that would get me in the blotter! Gasp!

Then Debbie said, “There’s a picture of you and my mom in the Relay for Life advertisement.”

Okay, that’s interesting, because I don’t remember a professional photographer taking my picture last year, but okay.

Then she calls me the next day and says, “You’re on the wall at Starbucks and Jamba Juice.”

The posters are everywhere.

I had not planned to do the Relay for Life (American Cancer Society) this year, because it was just too emotional for me last year. My friends, my family, and you all (my blog readers) donated enough money to my fund raising efforts to make me the 1 fund raiser on my team, and I think the 3 fund raiser in Lake Oswego.

I have been told that it would be really bad form if I didn’t show up this year since my face is on the poster! I had planned on coming by and bringing people coffee in the morning (it’s a 24-hour event), but I hadn’t planned on trying to raise money or walk the Survivor Lap.

However, I have now registered to walk the Survivor Lap, and I do have a page on the website: http://main.acsevents.org/goto/kjhorton

Donate if you like. Come walk a lap with me if you like. It’s a good cause.